Let’s Talk About Money


By Karen Gullo
Do you ever feel like you are drowning in debt? Or there are just too many bills in a month? What would happen if a sudden medical emergency arose in your family and you were no longer able to work?


Research from the Australian Psychology Society has found that personal financial issues have been consistently voted by Australians as the top stressor in our lives.

In a survey conducted by Relationships Australia, it was also found to be the number one cause of relationship breakdown.

Sadly, like so many other issues in life that cause us stress, we are not great at having conversations about money. This is not surprising when many would rather bury their heads in the sand than have an honest look at their finances, let alone have a conversation with someone about them. On top of this most of us were taught from an early age that talking about money, especially outside the home, is taboo. Don’t ask people what they earn. Don’t ask people what something cost or whether it is expensive. Don’t ask someone if they are rich.


"Many would rather bury their heads in the sand than have an honest look at their finances, let alone have a conversation with someone else about them."


In our experience, we have found that it is this lack of healthy communication, rather than solely money troubles that leads to the relational tension associated with financial difficulties. Don’t get me wrong, not having enough money to pay the bills (or other financial issues) is incredibly stressful, but it does not need to turn into a relational problem as well.


So, what is the first step to having healthy, open communication when it comes to our finances?

We all look at life through glasses tinted by our personal perspective, understanding this perspective and understanding that of our partners, will assist us in having healthy communication.

Brad and Ted Klontz, financial psychologists, have coined the term “Money Scripts”, to describe our core beliefs about money that drive our financial behaviours. These beliefs are typically unconscious, trans-generational beliefs about money, that we developed in our childhood and drive our adult financial behaviours.

Once we identify these beliefs, if necessary, we can change or challenge them.


"We all look at life through glasses tinted by our personal perspective, understanding this perspective and understanding that of our partners, will assist us in having healthy communication."


We have some great activities to help you start identifying you values and beliefs when it comes to finances. You can give our Money Conversation Starters a go. If you are in a relationship it is a great (and healthy) idea to discuss your answers with your partner.


Or have a go at our simplified version of the Klontz Money Script Inventory or Value Led Money Plan.